Snooka'd Like Jimmy. (Or how I had a wrestling match in my sleep)
I will admit 2 things:
1- I am an "all over" sleeper. I move A LOT during the night.
2- I sometimes have full on conversations that I don't recall in the morning
3- I sometimes wake up nekkid with no recollection of how that came about
(Me and math, not so good)
According to my husband, I am a violent sleeper with a tendency to attack him in the middle of the night like a WWE (WWF for us old timers) Wrestling super star. Apparently i have put him in a headlock, scissor lock, and Landed Several Supa-fly Splashes on him, all whilst blissfully asleep. I call shenanigans.
Sometime last week the following (allegedly) occurred.
J: *shake, shake* Babe. (Pause) *shake* Babe!
Me: ngf wha!?
J: Move over a little, I'm falling off the bed.
Me: emgfdls, fnduioe, brf.
Doesn't move at all.
J: Babe
Me screaming so loud I may have woken the neighbors and did wake the dogs: Yeah!
J: Jesus! Don't scream! Move over a little so I can have some room.
Me still Screaming: I did!
J: No you didnt.
Me pouting: I just wanna cuddle you
J: That's fine but lets move to the middle of the bed so I don't fall off.
Me: Okay.
Rolls over
Me five minutes later:
Rolls over throws my arm heavily on top of my husbands midsection and proceeds to snore loudly in his face.
J: Babe, roll over.
Me: Okay!
Moves UP and proceeds to wrap my arms around his face/neck headlock style.
J Grunting: Babe, Leggo! I can't breathe! *gasp*
Me: Meh.
Lets go and moves the top half of my body to my side of the bed
J decides that having my feet by his isn't such a bad deal considering whats been going on and drifts to sleep. Five more minutes later. I wrap my legs around him in a scissor lock. I wasn't sure what that was so i looked it up. Apparently this is when you wrap your legs around a persons torso or neck and squeeze. Oops!
J: Babe, wake up and move over! What the hell are you dreaming about!
Me: FINE!
Gets up on my knees and proceed to bring down all of my weight on top of my husbands chest a la jimmy Supa-Fly Snooka. He called this the supa-fly swat. this is not pleasant when a small person does it. I am NOT a small person.
I rolled over, still sleeping, leaving my husband a gasping mess clutching his chest, my lust for violence apparently sated.
He's mad, but I say it's his fault for making me watch WWE.
If this had been the WWE, I WIN!
1- I am an "all over" sleeper. I move A LOT during the night.
2- I sometimes have full on conversations that I don't recall in the morning
3- I sometimes wake up nekkid with no recollection of how that came about
(Me and math, not so good)
According to my husband, I am a violent sleeper with a tendency to attack him in the middle of the night like a WWE (WWF for us old timers) Wrestling super star. Apparently i have put him in a headlock, scissor lock, and Landed Several Supa-fly Splashes on him, all whilst blissfully asleep. I call shenanigans.
Sometime last week the following (allegedly) occurred.
J: *shake, shake* Babe. (Pause) *shake* Babe!
Me: ngf wha!?
J: Move over a little, I'm falling off the bed.
Me: emgfdls, fnduioe, brf.
Doesn't move at all.
J: Babe
Me screaming so loud I may have woken the neighbors and did wake the dogs: Yeah!
J: Jesus! Don't scream! Move over a little so I can have some room.
Me still Screaming: I did!
J: No you didnt.
Me pouting: I just wanna cuddle you
J: That's fine but lets move to the middle of the bed so I don't fall off.
Me: Okay.
Rolls over
Me five minutes later:
Rolls over throws my arm heavily on top of my husbands midsection and proceeds to snore loudly in his face.
J: Babe, roll over.
Me: Okay!
Moves UP and proceeds to wrap my arms around his face/neck headlock style.
J Grunting: Babe, Leggo! I can't breathe! *gasp*
Me: Meh.
Lets go and moves the top half of my body to my side of the bed
J decides that having my feet by his isn't such a bad deal considering whats been going on and drifts to sleep. Five more minutes later. I wrap my legs around him in a scissor lock. I wasn't sure what that was so i looked it up. Apparently this is when you wrap your legs around a persons torso or neck and squeeze. Oops!
J: Babe, wake up and move over! What the hell are you dreaming about!
Me: FINE!
Gets up on my knees and proceed to bring down all of my weight on top of my husbands chest a la jimmy Supa-Fly Snooka. He called this the supa-fly swat. this is not pleasant when a small person does it. I am NOT a small person.
I rolled over, still sleeping, leaving my husband a gasping mess clutching his chest, my lust for violence apparently sated.
He's mad, but I say it's his fault for making me watch WWE.
If this had been the WWE, I WIN!
When have you ever lost?
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