I was plannin' on a day off Mother Fucker.

This is an actual conversation had with m husband driving home from picking him up at work late on a Sunday night.

J: Freedom!

Me: Rough night?

J: just tired, and hot.  Can't wait to get home!

Me: We have to stop at the grocery store for soda and corn bread to go with the chili I made.

J: Fine.  Then I am going to play SWTOR* until my eyeballs fall out.

Me:   that might be a problem.  I mean, I would still love you and take care of you if you were blind.  But it would be a real downer and a pain in the ass.  I mean if you could just stop right before the actually fell out that would be really helpful.

J: You totally just killed my buzz.

Me: I mean I guess if they fell out but didn' like Detach or anything we could go to the emergency room and have them put back in right?  Just give me some warning so I already have pants on and I'm ready to go right when it happens.  (Pause) Plus!  then I can call in and get to have a day off!  Awesome!

J: Uh yeah.  But don't go planning on that day off or anything.  Cause I'm not sure if my eyes will actually fall out and I'd be kinda pissed to wake with you taking a fork to my eye all like "I was plannin' on a day off Mother Fucker"

Me: Spoon.

J: ?

Me: i would use a spoon, not a fork, cause then it would be all holey and useless if they put it back in.  (Pause) The bad kind of holey not the good Jesus kind.

J: ...

True Story.

*SWTOR = Star Wars The Old Republic.  Its a game, like WOW, but WAAAAAAY cooler