Sunday, September 30, 2012

Snooka'd Like Jimmy. (Or how I had a wrestling match in my sleep)

I will admit 2 things:
1- I am an "all over" sleeper.  I move  A LOT during the night.
2- I sometimes have full on conversations that I don't recall in the morning
3- I sometimes wake up nekkid with no recollection of how that came about
(Me and math, not so good)

According to my husband, I am a violent sleeper with a tendency to attack him in the middle of the night like a WWE (WWF for us old timers) Wrestling super star.  Apparently  i have put him in a headlock, scissor lock, and Landed Several Supa-fly Splashes on him, all whilst blissfully asleep.  I call shenanigans.

Sometime last week the following (allegedly) occurred.

J: *shake, shake* Babe. (Pause) *shake* Babe!

Me: ngf wha!?

J: Move over a little, I'm falling off the bed.

Me: emgfdls, fnduioe, brf.
Doesn't move at all.

J: Babe

Me screaming so loud I may have woken the neighbors and did wake the dogs: Yeah!

J: Jesus!  Don't scream!  Move over a little so I can have some room.

Me still Screaming:  I did!

J: No you didnt.

Me pouting: I just wanna cuddle you

J: That's fine but lets move to the middle of the bed so I don't fall off.

Me: Okay.
Rolls over

Me five minutes later:
Rolls over throws my arm heavily on top of my husbands midsection and proceeds to snore loudly in his face.

J: Babe, roll over.

Me: Okay!
Moves UP and proceeds to wrap my arms around his face/neck headlock style.

J Grunting: Babe, Leggo!  I can't breathe! *gasp*

Me: Meh.
Lets go and moves the top half of my body to my side of the bed

J decides that having my feet by his isn't such a bad deal considering whats been going on and drifts to sleep.  Five more minutes later.  I wrap my legs around him in a scissor lock.  I wasn't sure what that was so i looked it up.  Apparently this is when you wrap your legs around a persons torso or neck and squeeze.  Oops!

J: Babe, wake up and move over!  What the hell are you dreaming about!

Me: FINE!
Gets up on my knees and proceed to bring down all of my weight on top of my husbands chest a la jimmy Supa-Fly Snooka.  He called this the supa-fly swat.  this is not pleasant when a small person does it.  I am NOT a small person.

I rolled over, still sleeping, leaving my husband a gasping mess clutching his chest, my lust for violence apparently sated.

He's mad, but I say it's his fault for making me watch WWE.

If this had been the WWE, I WIN!


Friday, September 28, 2012

Like Butterflies

A Writers gotta write.  that was my thought yesterday when I bought a journal small enough to vary all the time and large enough to be able to be useful.  And its pretty, bonus!  I also got some multi-colored pens,m cause that's just how I roll. 

The plan my sweets, is to keep the journal and pens with me at all times.  Because let's face it, I am as forgetful as they come.  My husband has legitimately made me go to the Doctor because of my terrible forgetfulness, fearing early onset Alzheimer's.  True Story.

Good Ideas are fleeting, so you have to catch them while you can.  Sort of like Butterflies they are here to day and gone tomorrow.  I like the butterfly analogy.  Ideas and inspiration are very much like butterflies, beautiful, fragile, and fleeting. 

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Mandee's Musings

When I can’t sleep because my brain won’t shut down, sometimes I get all philosophical and come up with truly amazing theories that no one will ever test, because they can’t.  Because I’m super advanced like that, not because it’s stupid.
So here are the kinds of things I think about when I can’t sleep. 
1~ The truth about colors
I think that everyone sees different colors form everyone else.  Okay maybe not like everyone, everyone, because I’m sure there are waaay more people than colors out there.  But what if what I see when I see blue is the same as what you see when you see orange, but we’d never know because regardless of what we see we have been trained that that is the color blue.
2~ Shadows are Alive
I think shadows might be alive.  I’m pretty sure this stems from a scary story I read as a child, but as I watch the shadows moving around on my walls and ceiling, I am almost certain I can see them moving with purpose.  I think maybe it’s another dimension that we can only see when it’s dark.  My husband says that’s crazy.
3~ Stop telling me dinosaurs are extinct
Alligators, crocodiles, Sea Turtles.  The end.  Won’t y’all be surprised when we get attacked Jurassic Park style and I’m all like “HA, Bitches!”
More musings to come as I think of them….Maybe.  No promises, I’m not that responsible.

Something Vaguely Witty Here

Guys I am sad. 
I read a ton of awesome blogs, like cakewrecks.com and epbot.com and thebloggess.com and OhNoa.com.  And these are hysterical, smart funny women who get to make a living writing and doing what they love.  Which is totally and unbelievably awesome, good for them! 
Then the evil jealous crazy girl who forever roams the halls of the high school of my brain rears up and is all, “WTF?!?  I want that!  And she gets whiny and bitchy and starts saying things like “I’m clever!  I’m funny!  Why can’t I be an awesome satirical blogger with a gagillion followers?”
I usually respond to that with, “Because you’re a bitch.”  But that never seems to go over well and she gets all mopey and calls me mean and cuts herself. 
Instead I said “Your book is almost done being edited!  Then you just have to make a million and twenty-three corrections/additions/omissions, and you can spend years sending it to publishers!”  This doesn’t really work either.  Apparently I'm not being "positive" or "encouraging" WTF me!?
Anyway my point is that my book is nearly done being edited!  WOOT!  Now I just have to find/make time to make all the awesome revisions that my editor suggests.  But for a lifelong dream, it’s worth it, right? 
I do need help naming said novel.  It’s a YA sci-fi fantasy about witches in current day Salem.  Anything?
I might be distracted by cute animal and/or shiny things so bear with me.... Is that a kitty!?

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Nail Polish Fairy, I have a question.

Ugh!  So frustrated right now.  I got this truly excellent *looking* Wet'N'Wild Mega last nail polish.  I know, I know, Wet'N'Wild, really?  Yes, really.  I love it!  Its bright and cheap so I can keep up with the latest trends and not feel too guilty. 

Anyway, pretty much every nail polish I have ever bought was spot on.  It was basically the same color on my nails as it was int he bottle.  Which is a good thing, cause, ya know, we buy it before we put it on our nails, I can only assume that the goal is for the polish to be much the same on your nails as it is in the bottle, right?  Right?

Not so this time around.  I bought what appears in the bottle to be a dusty-rose mauvey color.  really great for fall, and keeping in with the wardrobe guidelines at my job.  (Well, on site, at the office it make no flipping difference) But lo and behind once it was on my nails its like this dark brownish RED.  Much, much more red than pink and not keeping with the guidelines AT ALL.  This color is not even close to the color it looks like while in the bottle. 

( I was going to put a picture here but i cant find one one the web and my camera is at the shop)

Don't get me wrong, it's a VERY pretty color and I am happy to wear it when it's appropriate, but I am not much of a red polish girl, and the whole reason I bought this was for days when I am on site and cant wear my super bright fun colors.  And glitter.  Lots and lots of glitter. 

Gripe number two with this polish, that's right, the color being off wasn't enough for WNW this time around.  The Brush is awful!  I am all for the trend of making the brushes more flat than round, it does make for easier painting in my opinion, but this is absurd!  Its HUGE!  It's just over half of my thumbnail.  Which means that painting my pinkie leaves big ol' red smears on either side of the nail.  It only takes one swipe to do my index finger for crying out loud!

While I am talking to the nail polish fairy I also have a wish list.

1. China Glaze Capitol Colors Collection

Okay, I admit it.  I read and LOVED the Hunger Games Trilogy.  But that is notwhy I love this polish!  (but it IS why I looked it up to begin with)
This collection has 12 colors based on the 12 districts in the books!  Here they are!

China Glaze Agro (District 11 – Agriculture) Is a metallic olive green with flecks of gold. The base isn’t overly warm which makes it very wearable though peeps with uber cool tones may have a hard time pulling it off.

China Glaze Dress Me Up (District 8 – Textiles) is the color that was originally named for Primrose and given its dusty rose color, that would have been a great fit. It’s creamy with a soft, delicate nature, just like Prim.

China Glaze Electrify (District 5 – Power) is a clear-based packed with yellow gold and red glitter. The gold is the more prevalent color. The overall effect looks like gold foil peppered with red sparkles.  Thanks to the density of the glitter, you can get decent coverage without a ton of coats.

China Glaze Fast Track (District 6 – Transportation) is a cool beige packed with gold micro-flecks. It has a similar finish as Knotty from Anchors Away except the base is cooler and more opaque and the flecks are gold instead of silver. It’s a great twist on your average neutral.

China Glaze Foie Gras (District 10 – Livestock) is a dark, moody mauve creme. I’m calling it Below Deck After Dark. It’s a member of that whole taupe-y purple family that Chanel Particuliere and SOPI Metro Chic belong to.

China Glaze Harvest Moon (District 9 – Grain) is a burnt copper foil metallic. It had the autumnal, fall feeling that represents the idea of a bountiful harvest really well.  It is packed with pigment.

China Glaze Hook and Line (District 4 – Fishing) is a muddied, pewter metallic. There’s a bit of taupe to its underbelly that makes me think of a fish hook that has a thin layer layer of dried dirt from years of use. It’s definitely unusual, and you know I love that!

China Glaze Luxe & Lush (District 1 – Luxury) is the FLAKIE top coat.  In the bottle you can see flecks of fiery orange, blue and a lilac leaning pink in a milky base. I think it would pair well with Dress Me Up.

China Glaze Mahogany Magic (District 7 – Lumber) is a rich, yellow-based, brown creme. It’s meant to have a woody feel. Undoubtedly this will rock on warmer/olive skin tones but on me.

China Glaze Riveting (District 3 – Technology) is a jelly-fied gem. A sister to two classic China Glaze jellies, Orange Marmalade and Orange-Pacific this color has one thing going for it the others lack, pigment. Two coats and it’s on!

China Glaze Stone Cold (District 2 – Masonry) is the matte color in this collection.  It makes total sense to have this graphite glitter dry with a matte finish. It’s so asphalt-esque. Though very similar to Nubar Matte Midnight. With a top coat the silver sparkles come alive and it resembles graphite.

China Glaze Smoke & Ashes (District 12 – Mining) The love child of Blk-Bila-Bong and Glittering Garland, it has the inky base and blue micro-flecks that made BBB a star. Mix in the emerald fleck from GG and we have a rising star on our hands.



Also I REALLY want to try a french manicure with colored tips, like a different one for each nail, but I FAIL at french tips with a brush y'all.  I totally cheat and use a nail polish pen for that, but the coloured ones are like 8 bucks each and I'm kinda poor right now... WTF...  How do I fix THAT Nail polish Fairy.

(If there is a nail polish fairy I'm sorry for being snide!  I love you and your product please bring me free nail polish pens and the hunger games nail polish! Thankyouverymuch!

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

What do you do when you hate both Presidential Candidates?

You guys, I don’t know what to do!  I hate all the presidential candidates.  Granted this is partly because they are both actually terrible and partly because my indecisive ass believes in PART of both parties platforms.  I also have given up hope for any politician ever actually doing, or even TRYING to do what they say they will do once they get there.
For example: Last Election Obama talked about repairing the economy.  Which, I agree, we totally need.  I voted for him!  He was worried about the economy and had all those left wing pro-rights things!  Perfect!  Then he came into office and was like “Economy?  Fuck the economy. What we need is a free healthcare system, that isn’t REALLY free (since people with jobs who pay taxes will have to pay for it by taxing the insurance that they have to buy, because the only way to get free healthcare is to be unemployed or not offered insurance by your employer)  to help fuck they economy some more!  Yeah! Let’s do that!”
Don’t get me wrong, we do need some kind of health care reform, but you know what would help with that?  A stable economy, then people could have jobs and afford insurance and/or health care and there would be less need to give it away for free to everyone.  Do health care costs need to come down?  Hell fucking yes, but I don’t think that a government controlled health care system is the way to go.  With the exception of Sweden and Canada, every other country, that I am aware of at least) has had economic failure.  That’s just what we need!  A health care system to tax an already severely over burdened economy!
Not to mention the issue I have with the government having any say in my health care choices.  That should be a decision made by my doctor and I and everyone else should have ZERO say in what/how/if I treat anything I may be diagnosed with.  This includes physical and mental health choices.
Then there’s the whole economy issue.  Mitt Romeny is focusing his whole campaign on the economy, (just like Obama Last year) but he hates any health care reform and abortion in ALL instances and wants to force us all back into the fucking 1950’s with regard to morals etc.  He is pro-life, as long as by life you mean your fetus’s potential for life and not your own, and Anti Gay Marriage.  There things are VERY important HUMAN RIGHTS.  Where does he get off!?!  And the whole no more Planned Parenthood thing pisses me off too.  That was just my regular doctor for a loooong time when I did not have access to insurance.  And they don’t just give abortions; they do family planning and help people get tested and treated for STDs and give women regular women’s heath checkups.  Yes let’s definitely take that way from people. 
So he wants to fix the economy but fuck all else.  And I really don’t have much faith in that either.  For a few reasons; I am from New England and I know just how badly he FUCKED UP The Massachusetts economy.  Also, see above, a candidate has yet to get into office and do what they say.  In fact in recent years they have rarely even tried to do what they said they would do. 
I would say that I will vote for the green party this year, but at this point that’s almost like not voting, and since republicans will NEVER vote for the green party, and will always vote republican if they don’t have a better option, (According to any republicans I know anyway) it’s like helping them win.  The same thing applies with a write in vote.  So what is a girl to do, when neither candidate is what best for the nation?